Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
