this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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