Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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