If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
