Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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