I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
