I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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