Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
