I puked a lego.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
