I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Shame is for Republicans.
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