I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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