you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
