Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
