Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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