i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
