sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
