First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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