Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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