i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You've changed since you got that strap on
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize