Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
