you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
