we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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