So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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