alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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