Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
