hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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