I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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