if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
