remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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