she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
