My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
