She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize