Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
