That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it was like eating out sand paper
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
