I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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