Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize