i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
