i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
