Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
