Rock
Scissors
Fuck
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
