After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
