Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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