Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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