I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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