but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize