Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
