Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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