Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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