I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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