That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
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The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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