u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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