How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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