Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
