so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
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There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
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Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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