this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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