That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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