she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
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I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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