plz talk dirty to me
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
